Thursday, 12 January 2012

a collection of my poims

hullo mates hows it going mates

i have wanted to do a blog for ages but i do not know how to do a website. alot of my awesome twitter followers gave me advices some even offered to do a website for me. very kind mates very kind.

some people said "word press" was a piss of piece but i tried for ages and did not understand any of it especially all that stuff about "mySQL" and that tecky stuff so i gave it the sacks.

so i am using this please bare with me i have not got the hang of it yet but i have been messing about with it for about 8 hours now and i want to strike while the eye is hot. so this will do and its time to post my poims just to get me started. i will be adding fresh contents and new articles in due of course.

"a poim for wazza" 

oh wayne
i'm so sorry to be a pain
take this kiss upon your brow
and read the rest of my poim now

oh wazza
i write this poim with no shame
wayne, your full name
is wayne mark rooney
when you were young
you were a loony
but now
you are not
not as bad as before anyway mates

oh wazza oh wazza
fergie says your like gazza
you are both men of many talons
and you both drink beer by the gallons 

oh wayne
you used to be in despairs
coz of your dissappearing hairs
you must of been so miffed
but not anymore mates
not with that lovely quift

in the summer you'd gone bald
this is a poim from me to roo
and i've just called
to say
your new hairs really suit you

oh wazza
your wife is fit as fuck
do you ever look in the mirrors
and think "i cant believe my luck"
i know i would
you are a part of the cheshire set
does your dad still like a bet

oh wazza
you are a humble man from liverpool
just lilke your favourite band who are dead cool
you have twitted about them before
they were known as the fab four

the fans love you yeah yeah yeah
they love you yeah yeah yeah
with a love like that
you know you cant be bad
your a great striker and a great lad

oh wazza oh wazza
you score the goals that matter
and as you stand amid the roar
please forget about that whore
we've all made mistakes before


"a poim for gary nevilles"

oh gary
look at you now
oh neville
take a bow
take a bow

i used to think you were shit
now you are a top top pundit
oh gary mates
i take it all back
you were not shit at all
you were ruddy great
at kicking the ball

oh gary
you played right back
you stopped so many attacks
you ate those wingers alive
please give me a high five
please mates

oh gary you owned so many players
like jose antonio reyes
you loved to kick him
oh gary
do you like chicken

oh gary
you really improved your crossing
and now you are bossing
the airwaves

your analasis is top class
but i want to see you on a plastic patch of grass
in the studio
with ed chamberlain
pretending to man mark him
on M.N.F.

oh gary i love your facial hairs
no one on sky sports compares
i even love your little tash
who will win the city v united clash

gary neville gary neville
treat yourself to a new breville
you deserve it cos your great
on telly mates

oh gary
on sky you wear the trousers
you are admired by everyone mates
even the scousers

you are always self defecating
playing down your skills
but let me tell you something mates
you've got the pundit skills
to pay the bills

oh gary
i love you on my T.V
so give me a R.T
or how about this
roll that V.T
and do some analasis


"a poim for adrian childs"

oh adrian
you support west bromich albion
oh childs
to watch you present a telly program i would walk for miles

i first saw you on business lunch or something mates
i did not understand what you was talking about
but you did not scream and shout
you talked like you always do in that freindly accent mates

i said to my mam that man will go far
and in no time he's on the one shows interviewing david ginola

oh adrian
do you miss christine mates
it is a shame she is going out with lampard for some dates
you got the sacks it was not fair
you are being replaced by a man with ginger hairs

its not fair
its not fair

chris evans chris evans
in despare i look at the heavens
oh adrian oh adrian i said
i watch the one show now with a feeling of dread
in fact i am going to stop
watching it

oh adrian oh adrian
i wish you well at the world cup
that news cheered me right up
i cant wait to watch it with you
oh adrian
who do you think will win

so you will still be on T.V.
on I.T.V
that pleases me
but its not the one show is it mates


  1. Duncan, we wrote some poims about you yesterday - here they are:

    Oh @duncanjenkinsfc,
    you mean such a lot to me.
    In a world of real nines, you are a false one.
    which in this case is a good thing.

    There once was a man called duncan,
    who loved tactics and onions
    he signed up for twitter,
    and was a big hitter,
    now MOTD have asked him to sign on. Mates.

    Those two are by me. @xbirchy wrote:

    Duncan Duncan rar rar rar, get on motd with gary linekar,
    Your tatics and onions would do greats, the world is your lobster mates mates mates

    @manutd24 wrote:
    oh dunc oh dunc
    my timeline was full of junk
    but no longer now wit tatics onions

    Hope you like them!!

  2. ha ha ha mates they are amazing i have never had a poim written about me or for me ever. a bird once texted me a little something that ryhmed but it was basically telling me to go jump in a lake or something she hated me. i will print them off and pin them up on my bedroom walls thanks lads.

  3. Do you do Hi Coos as well Duncan mates?